Thanksgiving Special: A Taste for Human Meat

This episode is going to have some Oh, this episode's explicit, more explicit than normal. Yeah, I have some semi graphic descriptions of kindibalism. So if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, you'll have great things to talk about with your family at the dinner table. Welcome to Scary Mystery Surprise, where we talk about creepy things that surprised us around the internet. I'm Edwin, I'm Michelle. Happy Thanksgiving. Hey, Michelle, are you hungry? Well? I mean that is a good question, Edwin, Edwin, Wow, would you ever eat human flesh? No? I don't think so. No, I won't. I wouldn't. I don't think I would either. But I haven't eaten a hot dog, and so I guess I'll always have to wonder. You never know, maybe you have already if you've eaten a hot dog. Certainly sneaks in there culturally throughout time for it being so so quote unquote disgusting. You know, they say it tastes like pork. I found a quote about it tasting like veal. Someone said it was the most succulent veal they'd ever had, which I don't know why everyone always has to use the word succulent when they're describing you. So, if you didn't know, today our Thanksgiving special is about cannibalism. It was Michelle's idea. Edwin's gonna act like he didn't fully support it, but he did fully support it when I suggested it. Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgiving everyone. We are going to be talking about food. So in a way, it is definitely food but also scary. Mystery surprise doesn't condone you actually eating anybody. We want to state that right at the begiving. This is more for just historical dinner conversation while you're having to sit there with your crazy uncles or something. Yeah, I just send them a reminder that people can get killed, Dan eaton. Yeah, it's good, especially if there's politics being talked. It's like a good neutralizing subject for family exactly. There you go, There you go. That's a purpose. That's the purpose. Yeah, we're actually giving you dinner conversation to talk with your relatives about. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, especially now with Thanksgiving. And it's our way to say thank you for Actually I don't know if that makes any sense. I think it does. It's our way to say thanks, thank you, thank you. The listener for ideas recipes might actually be good without the human No, it just sounds like regular food and you just put human meat. A Poor Robbie he's fine. He's literally fine. You don't even see all the chaos he caused. He like ripped apart a bunch of stuff last night. So jeez, Poor Robbie Newman, he's fine. Robert Newman is just fine. He has a stocking full of toys. I decorated for Christmas yesterday, so yeah, huh already, Okay, I guess you can now after Halloween. I think that's the rule. When this place is lit up at night, I have my computer screen on a fireplace, it gets so cozy. You just don't even know how cozy it gets, you know. I always wondered who uses those oh me, me, A thousand times me. Now I know, for the Michelles of the world. Okay, so that's what that's. Yeah, it's a thousand percent for the Michelles of the world who need ambiance, Christmas ambiance that starts warely. Honestly, I was ready to decorate for Christmas right after Halloween. Wait, Michelle, and when you have like Thanksgiving dinner, do you like set candles and like, oh yeah, I set candles for regular meals. Really look I like a romantic air for dinner. Even if I'm eating something that is frozen, a frozen fizza, you think it's not really like a I don't know for us, at least in my family, we eat what tamalas and tacos and curl. It's like it's a mix of everything. Yeah, we have turkeys sometimes I do already like I'm not a fan of it. Yeah, I'm not a big turkey fan either. And I just spent one hundred and fifty dollars on pie pie Yeah, because I'm bringing the dessert. So I just had to go buy a bunch of pie for all these people. How many pies? Two full pies. And then I got I ordered from the pie hole, so I got those little pie holes that are for children. I do kids like pumpkin pie. I don't know they have the option to not eat it. They like the whipped cream. Yeah, I figured they had options. And then I realized I should probably get a vegan pie too, because because God only knows who's vegan, so I have to just cover my good way to put it, which I'll think you were going to say something about offending somebody or no, I get it. I randomly have my diet things like I didn't eat dairy for a couple of years and now I'm eating dairy again. So I understand how people are like, no, I'm only eating this now. Only fish, Yeah, only fish only. I don't eat bread, but inevitably it comes back you do eat. I've been avoiding sugar and sweets and stuff, and yeah, every once in a while you're like, oh, I just take a bite of that, and there you go. It's not very strict. There's no way I'd ever be able to give up everything. No. I tried it. I've tried it, and it doesn't work. Feel a lot better when I don't. Oh yeah, of course I can like breathe out of my nose if I'm not eating dairy. But whatever, it's fine. That's how it is. That's how it is. Ye, how it is, And I'll just live with it because that's how much I love cheese. Wait, normally you can't breathe through your nose. Yeah, okay, get up to the micro and just drink. Okay, Yeah, it's not not easy. And then if I were to breathe out A bunch of flegme would come out of my nose right now, so I don't need to do that on my microphone. But it's not my favorite, but I do love cheese and some people love human flesh. Did you like my segue? Yeah? It was better than mine. I was thinking about body bodily fluids and transitioning into that because I was gonna talk about my flim problem. But we'll just give that. Yeah, you're right. My transition was way better than that. Your flem problem. It's because I had tea and he gives me like this. I guess I should start with the history right of cannibalism. If we're gonna go there, we should go there. I've been trying to avoid this, but yes, let's just go for it, Michelle, So tell us what happened? Why did people start eating each other? What did we do to deserve this? It turns out that we might have always done it. There's this human skeleton called Cheddarman dating back to seven thousand. Oh my god, seventy one fifty BC. Yeah, sure that's it. Mitchell and her numbers. I can't do numbers around seven one hundred and fifty BC has unusual cuts on his skull, and it has been suggested he was the victim of cannibalism. So but it's also been interpreted as a burial right. But genetic studies have revealed a powerful episode is in quotes of natural selection concurrent with the extinction of the Neanderthals, drawing on hundreds of studies in relation to Koru disease, which is only known to spread through cannibalism. So even if humans were also eating other humans, we have a gene that kind of helps us from this Koru disease. So that makes your brain cut a spongy and soft. Wait, so we wouldn't go extinct if we started eating each other then or sorry, that sounded a lot more hopeful than what I can. We still eat each other. I think it depends on who you're eating, like eating like someone who's died of natural causes as opposed to someone you've killed. I love that I have to know this now for this episode, is that eating someone who died of natural causes is more likely to spread disease than if you have someone who's fresh eating the dead. Even if it was like a ceremony, you're potentially eating any sort of pathogens. Also, like the body started to decay at that point, you're getting some bacteria. Geez. Yeah, that's why I think people like fresh meat like cows and pigs. I'm curious to see your search history right now. Yeah, my search history is horrific. If I killed someone right now, it would be like, let's send her straight to jail. Plus, you've accepted those cookies, Michelle. You accepted all of them. Oh, I totally did. It's just takes too much time. I just have to click. Except I can't can't live my life limiting cookies on my websites, so I just can't. It's too much work. So obviously you'd think I'd go into indigenous practices here of cannibalism, you know, throughout cultures and stuff. But it's tough to tell, like what's propaganda and what tribes actually had the cultures and which ones it was just racism and like fear mongering. People don't know what ancient cultures did. But it just I don't know. I don't have any facts on the internet. It's not like very good at being concrete about facts about indigenous tribes. Yeah, we'd have to find like one of those experts that are like dedicate their lives to find out like what a certain culture did for yeah, exactly, which we are not. Nope, we are not those experts. But I will tell of some disastrous events that have been documented. This one is definitely geared towards the Thanksgiving crowd out there just to revisit the Thanksgiving myth, because this event is about the settlers at Jamestown. The first years that Jamestown were rough founded in sixteen oh seven, the English settlement was home to one hundred and four settlers. Only thirty eight made it through the first winter. Oh No. Disease, drought, dismal farming conditions forced the colonists to depend on cargo ships for food. Things only got worse with the arrival of three hundred new settlers, and not long after that the harsh winter of sixteen oh nine, which became known as the Starving Time. According to George Pearcy, a Jamestown settler, the conditions were so bad that people ate their boots their boots, yeah, their boots for the leather. Others resorted to nibbling on theirs. And I got to read, Okay, so I've got to read this paragraph. But can I send you Wait, I just want you to see how it's spelled as I read it, because I'm going to have to read it with an accent. Is there? No? Is it French because you do a really good French accent. Oh it's not French. It's I think it's English. But I just want you to see this because this is how I'm going to read it, and you'll understand now that I okay, here it goes. Nothing was spared to maintain life and do those things which same incredible as to dig out dead cops out of graves and ate them, Piercy wrote, and some have licked up the blow which has fallen from weak fellows. Oh jeezus, at extra east to everything. Is that how people used to do this? I don't know. Is that like old English? I don't know, but it was. I had to send it to you because otherwise nothing was spars was spared to maintain I wasn't just making that up. Yeah, you get like the North English accent from his writing or something. It was very weird. Although I went Irish with it. I think I went a little too irish with it. It's it worked out, Thank you, Thank you, it's my new voice I'm perfecting. I like the writing style. I'm gonna start right like that. People will be like, are you okay that last part? And some have licked up the blood which has fallen from their the week and felt I think it's weak and fell but okay, that's way a super sinister. The last line is some have linked up the blood which has fallen from their weakened fellows. There ain't anything friendly about what was going on in Jamestown. There is no Native Americans bringing them pies or whatever. There was none of that. I don't know, Michelle. From what I know, they all sat at a table, a really long table, and they all held hands. They all held hands, sang songs, shared one turkey amongst all of them, and they ate corn and buried fish in the ground so that the corner would grow. And Charlie Brown was there, and Lucy and Snoopy and it was really beautiful. It was a beautiful time, and we all got along, and that's how it went for decades. Historians were unsure if Percy was exaggerating, so nobody knew that they read. They all read that paragraph like I read and was like, what the hell is this guy saying untrustworthy if he's going to write this way. But in twenty twelve, archaeologists discovered the bones of a fourteen year old girl. Her skull had been cracked open to remove the brain, evidence that she had been cannibalized. That's a visual. Oh why the brain? Oh, I heard the brain is good, Like, not quite sure, but it seems like there'd be more. It seems like it'd be more like, I don't know, I'm not I don't I'm not quite sure. I know a lot of people eat brain, but it seems like a lot more diseases would come in the brain than it would And I don't know if you're just eating like a leg, a flank steak or something a leg, a backstrap, yeah, ribs hello. During this period, but one man was tortured until he confessed to having killed, salted, and eaten his pregnant wife. He was burned alive as punishment and then eaten. Yeah, and then definitely eating after that. That's terrible with a like a wait, pregnant wife. Yeah, there's no confirmation on that one. The fourteen year old girl has been confirmed that was cannibalism. Why do they dig them up though. Yeah, you're right, you're right, you should just kill. Yeah, fresh fresh killed, It's gonna taste fresh fresh. Yeah, all that is the moral dilemon. It seems like in a lot of these cases. I'm going to talk about that the murder is the problem and the eating is the survival part, which people are like, oh, maybe we could look the other way on this, but the murder not okay. But even though, why would you want to eat an unfresh piece of meat? But whatever, you know, each their own. I don't want to yuck anybody's yum, you know what I mean. So if you lived during the seventeenth century and visited a doctor, you were accidentally accountable. It wasn't uncommon to consume powdered mummies as well as other human body parts as medicine. In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, many Europeans, including royalty priests and scientists, routinely ingested remedies containing human bones, blood, and fat as medicine for everything from headaches to epilepsy. And it worked. Did any actual medicine work in that time, I don't know. Headaches and other ailments were cured by ingesting a tincture containing crushed skulls, sometimes mixed with chocolate. One of King Charles the Second's favorite homeopathic potions was called the Kings Drops, mixed with powdered human skulls and booth few positions. Stop to think if this qualified as cannibalism, that's true. I think it does. You're still eating human what about drinking breast milk. I don't think that's cannibalism because that's an actual that's what it's for. I mean, yeah, guys, yeah, you're running into like we're going way off book here. We're going to earn our explicit rating today. This is already explicit. I think it's pretty explicit because we're not condoning cannibalism, are we. I don't know. We're against cannibalism here. It's scary, mystery surprise. I just want to restate, and I'll restate this throughout the episode. We are against cannibalism. This is just curiosity questions. We're not one n all. The recipes we looked up are just information, just pure research. We're not saying go try this at home, and in fact, don't try it at home, Yeah please don't. It'll cause a lot of drama, especially over Thanksgiving. Have to talk about the Donner Party classic cannibalism, the one that everybody thinks about eternally. But actually I don't know if I know the story, and this will just be a brief overlay. I think the Donner Party could be its own episode maybe, but I don't know if it's like funny enough to be I don't know if we can like riff on it enough. It might be two sad maybe, but it was the eighteen hundred, so there is like enough time, there is space, But I don't know. I kind of like you can't joke about like Abraham Lincoln or JFK. I don't know when it's going to be funny again, like when they allowed jokes on that the older it is, the easier it is to riff on. That's why I went and grab these stories about old cannibalism as opposed to some of the newer ones which are fucked. Oh oh, Michelle, I have one of the new ones that I want to tell you about it. Oh, I can't wait, I can't wait. Yeah, the new ones are so fucked. Oh, you have no idea. But anyway, back to the Donner Party, The winter of eighteen forty six and eighteen forty seven saw intense snowfall in the Sierra Nevada Mountains was more than twenty five feet of snow. Twenty five feet, Yeah, that's crazy, like two stories. So when the pioneers of the Donner Party became trapped in the woods northwest of Lake Tahoe, they settled in tents and cabins and waited it out. The icy conditions soon killed their cattle and depleted their food supply. It wasn't long before the pioneers were desperately chewing on rugs for sustenance, which I'm surprised they didn't say boots, but also rugs. Could that have been wool? You're just chewing on wool for sustenance And then it says it would get worse, But yes, they chewed on rugs, and obviously it got worse. Months later, a rescue team arrived and was horrified to discover the camp littered with human remains. There they found Lewis Kensenberg preparing himself a meal of human organs, the lungs and the liver of Tamsen Donner. What a name. Tamsen of the eighty seven people who attempted the journey forty two die. Around half of the survivors, including a group that hiked out in search of help, resorted to cannibalism. But it was the fate of Kensenberg that would capture the public's imagination, as rumors swirled that he did more than eat the dead. Rather, some believed he had murdered his fellow travelers after acquiring a taste for human flesh. Told you it happens. You first, just trying to survive. You're trying to just eat a foot, eat a leg, and next thing, you know, crave it. But that's the thing. It's so funny that it's like, it's fine, it's acceptable. They did it for survival. But the second people start murdering for it, that's the big that's the big no no see. And that's the thing. It's to me, it's like sushi, Like I hated it the first time. I ate it, and I ate it only for social acceptance, and then I got a taste for it. Now I'm willing to fay twenty dollars for it. Yeah, Sushi's great. I hope you never accidentally eat human flesh, because then we'll all be in trouble. Yeah, I know Edwin's gone mad. He's a cannibal. Now I acquired a taste. No, I don't think i'd want to be in a survival list thing. I don't know. I just I don't think anybody does. Yeah, I mean, I'm not going I'm not going on looking for the Northwest passage or whatever. Yeah, it just stick to the trail the signs. I say, pick up after your dog's poop along those trails and obviously do it. Obviously pick up your dog's poop. As someone who has a dog and always picks up my dog's poop, it's just respectful. Here, it's Scary Mystery Surprise. We're very pro picking up our dogs poop because it's respectful for your neighbors. Yeah. Please, next time you take out your dog, just pick up their poop. Message brought to you by Scary Mystery. Scary Mystery Surprise. There's our new promo. Why don't we release that as a promo? People just be like, what the fuck is the show about? Why don't people mind your dog just peeing on trees? But poop is oh, I mean, because you can step in it and it'll ruin your car. That's why. But pee, you lean on a tree and then it's pete on. It's gross. But I'm not gonna do catches pee. Yeah, you're right, you can't. No, there's no Oh, he just trained them not to be everywhere. I think that's impossible. Oh, here goes Rober and he heard us. How's gonna heard you? No, the neighbor's dog started barking, and so he needed to bark too. So I don't know what their problem is understandable. They're so rude to each other. His name is Bobby and his name is Robbie. So there's they can never exist in the same there can only be one. Okay, I guess I'll talk about the Doomed Franklin Expedition since you liked that story. Yeah, that was cool. In eighteen fifty five, Sir John Franklin and his crew sailed to the Arctic. That's the mailman. We got a pause for mailman. We'll be right back. Okay, who the fuck was I thank you Robert for Oh yeah, the Franklin Expedition. In eighteen forty five, Sir John Franklin and his crew set sail to explore Arctica. Arctica, Arctic Arctica art also like the Arctic. Yeah so the yeah, so the Arctic, Okay, just okay, So, according to Michelle, to explore the new continent of Arctica, the artic of the Arctic. I don't know what, Michelle. We are known for switching up stories and just making things up, so nobody should take us seriously. That's true, that's true. But I do like to have words, words that were of real things. Okay, okay, back to business. In eighteen forty five, Sir John Franklin and his crew set sail to explore the Arctic with the goal of finally finding the Northwest Passage. In September eighteen forty six, expeditions, two vessels, the Terror in the Herbis, became ice bound in the Victoria Strait. This was likely expected, the sailors knew the ice in the Arctic froze in the winter. What wasn't expected was the lack of spring thaw, which, damn, that's rough man. Their progress halted for more than a year as the ships drifted in the ice for a year, desperation set in. Franklin died in June eighteen forty seven, and eventually his crew abandoned their ships. And trekked across the ice toward the mainland. They would never be heard from again. Years later, the explorer Charles Francis Hall interviewed a local Inuit who had heard about what had become of Franklin's crew. They explained that a great many had their flesh cut off, as if someone had cut it off to eat. Paul wrote in twenty fifteen, researchers corroborated the Inuit story when they found skulls and bones with marks consistent with cannibalism. Goodness, oh no, I can't imagine having to do that at that point. I honestly, the hopelessness like knowing you're pretty much dead anyway when the ice doesn't thaw oof, and then still having to go on for another year, and then having your fucking captain died so you don't even get to blame anybody. You're just stuck. Ay yea YEI. I don't know why that got me. For some reason, the hopelessness of knowing you're gonna have to become a cannibal is way scarier than you say, Like you're gonna have to become a cannibal. I mean, you know you gotta have to you're gonna have I don't know. You're stuck in the ice, everybody, Yeah, you know what. We're out of food. Oh goodbye. And I've heard freezing to death. It's quite peaceful. Actually, you just kind of go to sleep, yeah, because you're not feeling anything anymore. Right, you're frozen. I don't know, I could be wrong. If you know how freezing to death feels, please write in. If you're a ghost that has died because you're froze to death, please write in. Okay, my final story, this is called the Kentucky Cannibal. Before Hannibal Lecter, there was Levi Boone Hilm, who I had never heard of or I read this story, which actually I was like, oh, I've always thrilled when I find a serial killer that I haven't heard about before Levi Boone Helm called the Kentucky Cannibal because he was a native of that state. That's why he was called Kentuck. Thanks, Michell. I thought, I don't know, I don't know what I was thinking there. You might not have known he was from Kentucky, Okay. Born eighteen twenty eight, Helm was an all around scoundrel for a young age. He wasn't afraid to settle petty squabbles with a bullet or knife. He also wasn't one to let perfectly good protein go to rot. Helm was an experienced survivalist who spent months at a time traversing the wilderness, often and on the run from the law, So when he killed a man, he wasn't afraid to take some human leftovers for the hard journey ahead. Here's a quote, many's the poor devil I've killed at one time or another. Why did they quote that? That's not even a good quote? Helm's report or to have said. And the time has been that I've been obliged to feed on some of them. Why did they quote that that's not a good quote. Helms didn't always kill for his meals. On one occasion, when a member of his party died by suicide, he ate one leg before chopping off the another, carrying it on the road, just like a leg. That's how I imagine it, a leg with the pant legs still on, like the gens still on, and the shoe and everything. After a long career of mayhem and murder, Helm was caught and executed in eighteen sixty four. Overall It's believed that the Kentucky cannibal killed at least eleven men, likely more, and the number he snacked on is anybody's guess. Geez, okay, that's terrible snacked on? Yeah, which is okay. I like the way that you said the no protein would go to waste or he didn't like that or whatever. There must be some sort of starvation trauma there. If he'd gone hungry as like a kid, he probably I don't know why I'm making excuses for the serial killer. I don't know. We're gonna get some opinions. I don't know what's going on. Am I joining the other side? Am I becoming me? Maybe at the end of the episode you have a big reveal and why you suggested this? Oh no, and actually I'm a cannibal now, so you guys need to accept me. Jeez. I like that because it's like a like his last story. It shows like this, like a wild guy. Hey, he's just gonna survive, do whatever. He's just gonna live. He's not gonna ask permission. He's gonna hunt and eat what he hunts. Yeah, and the greatest hunt of all man. It's just the image of him walking around with the leg. I kind of want to plug that into the Dolly AI generator just to see what it can. Just imagine if we say, man walking out of a forest with a leg over his shoulder with the human leg over his shoulder. Oh yeah, that'll come out good. Can't wait, can't wait, Yanka is gonna get some good fun. Yeah it wait. Are you done what you're said? Yeah, pretty much. I only have this weird little paragraph about what does it taste like. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and sometimes when survival is at stake, that means human flesh is on the menu. Accordick to William Seabrook, a journalist who nibbled on cooked human flesh during his travels to Africa in the nineteen twenties, he said, it's not like any other meat I've ever tasted. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palette of ordinary normal sensitiveness could have distinguished it from veal. So that's what he said. But also there was a thing where I was reading where it was like, oh, this guy actually had the natives. They bought a little girl and cooked her. And the way he describes it sounds like he like it, oh a thousand per set. It sounds like he was really into it. So I don't buy the hole just nibbled on it thing. No, I'm sure he devoured it, which I'm like, ah, it's terrible. I just don't the things that I just don't like veal. I don't like lamb either, And my parents just cooked everything on the George Foreman grill, so a lot of like meat tastes the same to me. So I just don't have any desire to eat human I just don't. I'm not curious about it. I just think it would taste like old Hamburger off the George Forman grill. That's all I think about. Just what you said my parents could get rid of the they did. It was like my whole childhood growing up. It ruined by palette for a really long time of just cool. Everything tastes exactly the same, cool cuck cuckoo. So I think I got the assignment wrong here, Michelle, because I was supposed to keep it light and I just went dark. Look, we got to do two sides of a coin. And also were these light stories? Yes not, but guy carrying a leg across. I mean, I guess it's light in a way, but because it's from the eighteen hundreds. But I think we should compare once you okay, yeah, well yeah, we'll compare, all right, So this one, Okay, So after I looked up a lot about cannibalism and why. I want to know why. But obviously people have to like it. There's that incentive, right, you eat it, so you have to like it and crave it. Otherwise, why would you do this willingly if you don't have to survive? Obviously. I saw this story a while back, but I hadn't really read into it because I was just grossed out. But to this story takes place less than twenty years Wait, it's twenty years ago actually in two thousand one or two thousand two. Some reason there was so much cannibalism in the early two thousands. I don't know what was going on, why that was happening, But yes, I saw that in my research too, where it was like, oh god, you have just near the end of the grunge era of music. Oh man, Okay. So I started using the internet around two thousand and two, approximately, I would say, and I would use it to look up things for school music and the chat rooms on a wel normal stuff, right, very innocent except for downloading music illegally, which I mean I think everyone did. So it's all right. I mean it feels like a very innocent crime. Now it's like a baby crime. Yeah, it's normal. Right. So it's like this story takes place back in that internet stuff. Right, So it's like the websites look old and just lines of hyperlinks. Have you ever clicked on a link and you know how it looks all messy? And just imagine a page full of those. That's what the web pages like forums and message board to look like. And then there'd be a gift of a hamster and it would play Hamster dance. Yeah, just like that. Yeah, all you get it. You get the visuals, that's how. And these were set up with a bright either blue background or like pink text over black background. It was just like this terrible looking website. It's just gonna make a comeback. I think soon we'll see. Yeah, I don't know, graphically that looks like shit, but yeah I could see it being very nostalgic for some reason which I don't understand. But anyway, continue, Yeah, so around that time, there was this website. Now, without getting too technical, first off, this website is I'm not gonna name the name of it, but it was about people's fetishes and like what they did. And how a website worked back then is it would have to request like the webmaster. You would ask them, hey, can I get some server space and some bandwidth to host this page or this message board which nowadays we call them forums. Back then, it was just like you would send a message and it would pop up on this page, just like a long list of just messages. It would click on a thing and it would open the host. It was kind of like a like reddit like that, but not that modern. So inside of this fetish website, which I think some people out there are gonna know about it, Oh yeah, I think there are you gonna talk about their fetish vores carnivores vores though, but that I'm I'm afraid, look this stuff up good. We don't need to shout out to the VORs. And I don't know if I need them as fans, I don't know. Imagine we get sponsored. So inside of this website was this message board and it was called Cannibal Cafe. So it was like a forum, and it was being shut down right around this time when I started using the Internet two thousand and one, two thousand and two. And there's this archive type thing on the Internet. I'm pretty sure some people are familiar with it. So it's like it keeps track of old sites that have died. Like it's like, for example, you have a page like you made it, Like for me, I have like Kazango blog, and I stopped updating it and then it went out of business or whatever. It's still there in the Internet archive, so I can still log in and see what I've posted and what kind of pokemon I was when I took those quizzes, like I can still go back to remember. So there's this site there, right and you can still find it, and people have gone in and looked it up and everything, and they get a whole archive like a need the organized thing of what this page was like and the conversations was back then. So on there there was this user named Frankie. Now this person is very important to the story because he's actually the reason why the website got shut down. On this forum, which was part again part of another site that people posted fetishes and stuff like that. So in this page, in this forum, people would talk about being eaten or eating somebody, like full on cooking, frying, baking whatever, roasting somebody and eating them. And it was started by this guy going by the name of Pedro Vocal Crazy Dog. And in the welcome message he said, we here at the Cannibal Cafe in association with a California association. Hope that you will use and enjoy this forum for the exchange of messages and notices. There's an actual screenshot of that site, right, And that's when all the weirdness begins. And they would add messages to this page. So people would claim to have tried various techniques to eat other people, So how to drug them up, how to treat them and with what medicines that you get rid of a lot of the gastric juices and secretions, and how long to treat the special girl before roasting her. Stuff like that. That's the kind of thing you would find. So now back to Frankie, right, So his real name, well, this is one we actually found out his name and everything. His real name was Armine muse Amy. I w ea, so I don't know that I'm pronouncing that but he was from Rottenberg Rotenberg, Germany, and he was forty two years old. And an article from The Guardian is where I read a lot of this info mentions how this went down and it's one insane story. Ever since he was eight years old, armand dreamed about killing and eating somebody, even his classmates. So fast forward to March two thousand and one. He finds his forum, he enters it and he starts making a post. He pretty much is asking who's going to be willing to be heating? So in his words the posts, yeah, the post said he was looking for a young built man who wanted to be eaten. By the way, it sounds super weird to us, right, like it's just it's weird. But this was super common on that website because there were a lot of people that were role playing on there, right with some of them saying they want to be they want to get beat up by a woman, others saying that they want to be stomped to death and then boiled in a soup. It was just things, but it was like an agreed upon thing where they would it was role playing, like they were saying, yeah, I want this, and I want that and they yeah, it was like an establishing that it was fantasy more like verbal, like a verbal I don't know, game as opposed to anything in life. Maybe, I mean, I don't know, I don't know. When I was a kid, I remember in one of the ale chat rooms there were some people that were claiming they were real Pokemon trainers and that they had real Pokemon and they believed it, and it was fun to just listen to read their messages because it was like, Wow, they really believe that. Are they really insane or are they or are they pedophiles? I didn't think of that back then. They were saying, yeah, I have a real Pikachu. He's about the size of are those predators or maybe like cosplay type of thing or like they just dress up you act like it and there you go. It's cool. But anyway, so a bunch of people responded with their own ideas, thinking that they were role playing, but many and I'm saying hundreds backed out once they were like, oh no, this guy is serious. So other people responded to and they were actually serious about this, like they wanted to get eaten be for real. So the first one that armand got in one of the messages, he was not feeling it, like this is what a response. Once later on we find this out that he was not interested in that first guy. There's no chemistry, so she doesn't want to eat him. He was like, no, thanks. Pass. The second person who responded was like, yeah, I'm in, but I want to be nailed down and beaten. So Arman thought that was weird. It's like the Three Bears, it's too big, it's too small. Perfect and the perfect one was a man by the name of Burned Brandy. It was March ninth of that year, two thousand and one when they met up. So this is a real life interaction. Now, Armand had a farmhouse away from everyone else. Of course he did just enough to have some privacy. Of course, is there a cannibal that doesn't own a farmhouse in modern times? You know, they say Arman was a smart guy, like he was supposedly a computer genius. He was straight edged financially, he was smart. He actually got consent from Burned on videotape and the guy was saying that yeah, he wants it to happen, and everything was detailed. So he did get in trouble. So then Burned takes a handful of sleeping pills, half a bottle of schnaps, and is ready to go. But here's the thing. It sounds like an easy interaction, right or okay, just kill me, eat me whatever, But it turns out it wasn't a freebie. Burned had a request two, so he had his own set of fantasies. Right. He wanted to taste himself also before it being what he gave me, like, chill your reaction gave you? Oh oh god, yeah, I mean I don't know why that's such a big reveal. He of course he's gonna have some thing like of course he wants yeah, oh my god. It's like when the normal cannibal looks normal compared to the other. Ah. Yeah, yeah. He's like, no, I just wanted to make a meatball with you, and now I gotta do this armand cut off Burns penis fried it and garlic, salts and other spices for both of them to eat. The idea of being able to just sit down after you've had your penis cut off and then just eat your penis is to eat a meal after you've had that massive of a wound. I don't know it's not a surgery. It's definitely so he was bleeding. He was bleeding a lot. He took the sleeping pills. He's bleeding. He's on his way out basically. Right by this time, he burned the one without the penis. Now he takes a bath, like he goes into the bat and supposedly the whole ordeal wasn't like dramatic. It wasn't like, oh, yeah, they're all excited or anything. It's it's just casual. Like it says that as the burned was in the bathtub, Armon was kind of reading a novel. He was just like, there, it's really weird, right, So he was just doing something that they dreamt about. So in the early hours of the morning, Armand gave Burnt a kiss and then stabbed him to finish him off. Right, So now burned his dead. Okay, what took him so long? He didn't really need to read that novel? I mean, he could have just put the poor guy out of his misery. Maybe he was enjoying I don't know. But anyway, early hours in the morning, Boop kills him dead. Now, so then Arman takes them chops them up into pieces, puts parts of him in the freezer, buries the skull in the backyard, and then would casually go to the freezer for the months after that to defrost him of the meat, which he would cook in olive oil and garlic along with a bottle of South African red wine. So he almost went through forty five pounds of human meat before he got caught. And the people that caught him, they were like, you know what, here in Germany, cannibalism is not illegal. Do we have a case or not? Oh? I mean he stood stab him, that's the problem. So they went with something like that. They were like, the lawyers in the court system had to find other things to accuse him for. And he did end up going to jail. And they say that he's chill, like he's a very calm dude. He likes to read, he likes to just he's calm. They say that you can cell door open and we'll just stay in there. Like he's chill, very respectful and everything, and they even let him go out sometimes with the disguise of a cap and glasses. Pretty interesting guy. And supposedly he was writing a memoir. Yeah, I can't wait to read it. He has fulfilled his life dream. I guess he would be calm and fine after you've done it. He's literally been dreaming about doing that since he was a child. Jeez, so good. But there's no guarantee he wouldn't do that again. But it is between two consenting adults. I don't know how. I feel pretty pretty intense, So that's the case. I wanted to say, sorry. I think we're supposed to talk about the history of cannibalism, and it's fine. It's fine. Modern cannibalism is fine. I thought we were talking about the history. That's all. I know. People can't see your face right now, Michelle, but you could have caught that like you're reacting to all the stuff. You really brought it home. You brought the realness of it. You let everybody know. I don't want to get kicked out of Apple podcast. Guys. We already have the explicit symbol. What else can we do to warn yep As you bite into that succulent, succulent turkey then then them cooked with garlic and olive oil and salt and pepper and other spices. My stomach is literally making noise right now. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. Well, last night I was trying to do research and I don't know if it's recipes more, but it's more like examples of how humans have gotten cooked. Oh no, I was going down it and I'd just eating pizza and then I just read the word human haggis, and you know what, I was curious to find out more about all these the forum people that because I did see some quotes. Yeah, no, I was like halfway through, I'm like, Nope, techniques on how to roast somebody is not something I even as a joke. I don't even want to. I know I would never be able to unlearn that. So yeah, and I think it's I don't know if you've ever been to a pig roast, but I think it's kind of like that. I'm just afraid of that knowledge. Imagine I'm in a survival situation and I'm just like, hey, you know what, I did learn how to roast a human? Yeah, you would be that guy. Oh and then the phrase human soup. Oh thank you, No, thank you, jeez. Nothing like the Thanksgiving cannibalism special. Yeah. I hope you guys enjoyed. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I know we did. We're horrified at ourselves. I think maybe some disgust. I don't know if I can continue this, Michelle, So what are we going to talk about next week? Edwin? I don't know. It'll be a surprise. Oh all right, till next time. I hope you guys enjoy your meal if you're eating, enjoy your Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. Happy Thanksgiving guys. Also, once again, scary mystery Surprise does not support cannibalism. Nope, please pick up after your dogs. Thank you,