Creepy Chain Letters

What is a good cold open? I actually thought I came up with one. You thought you came up with one. Yeah, I was like, oh, this will be really funny, and now I can't remember. Welcome to Scary Mystery Surprise, where we talk about scary things that surprised us around the Internet. I'm Edwin, I'm Michelle. Okay, let me get into the zone so I can do do my story into the Twilight Zone. Join us, won't you join us in the Twilight Zone. We're gonna get sued. We are not affiliated. We're gonna get sued. We are not affiliated. We do not have the rights to the Twilight Zone. Whoopsies. Anyway, that's our cold open. That's our cold open as us getting sued. Okay, today's story. I guess I'll just start with one of the most famous examples. So we'll start with you, Edwin. You're dining at an upscale department store Neiman Marcus. Do they have food? I guess? I mean, look, doesnem and Marcus still exist? It does? Yeah, I think it does. So you're dining at this restaurant at Neman Marcus, and you ask for their delicious chocolate chip cookies recipe. The store supposedly agreed to give you this recipe and even charged you two fifty which you assumed meant two dollars and fifty cents. However, when you received your credit card bill, you were actually charged two hundred and fifty dollars for this fucking recipe for a recipe. Yeah, for the chocolate chip cookie recipe. You are pissed, not even a cookie. No, it was the recipe, that's why. Yeah, you're pissed and so of course outraged by this. You ed when decide to share the recipe with as many people as possible to get back at NEM and Marcus, you encourage the recipients of this recipe aka this chain letter, to pass it on to all their friends and acquaintances so that everyone could have the secret recipe for free. If they don't share it, they have ten years of bad luck. Yeah, and in Neiman Marcus can eat a bag of dicks. But this is an example of actually one of the most popular chain letters to ever exist, and it gained significant popularity in the nineteen eighties and nineties because I actually remember seeing it in an email. Really yeah, and I actually think we tried to make the cookie recipe or like it was definitely something. I remember it being discussed at elementary school, like, oh are those the Neem and Marcus cookies? Oh? Like, oh, they're so good? Which are they? I mean it's a chocolate chip cookie, but who knows. So anyway, this chain letter spread through email and traditional mail. It often included the cookie recipe, claiming to be from Nemon Marcus, though in reality the recipe was not actually one used in the store. While the story and the recipe we're compelling, they were entirely fictional. Nemen Marcus denied the existence of such an event, maintained they've never charged anyone for their cookie recipe and didn't even use this cookie recipe. Yeah. And despite all this, the chain letter continued to circle and circulate widely and is now a well known internet legend. It's the like I chat gpted the what is the most famous chain letter? And this is what popped up is the Nemen Marcus cookie because I knew that one. Like, I was like, oh, I guess it is. That's so funny. I hadn't thought about its interesting that you had email in elementary school. Uh yeah, I wouldn't say, I'd say it was like ninety seven or something. I don't know what email it like. There was something where I saw this. This might have been later, but I remember seeing this. Someone got the name and Marcus thing. It's funny because I always think, like chocolate chip cookies all taste the same. I don't know, no offense to cookie lovers out there, but well, it's either it's the texture. It's either it's either thick and chewy or thin and crispy. Yeah. Yeah, I think it boils down to that. I'm pretty sure we're gonna get We're gonna piss people off. It was just like, yeah, this is a this is a controversial take. We get we get it. There is soft bake and what is it? And we try to not be political on this podcast, but clearly we're being political today. I mean it's always my topics that get a little too sassy. We're just too divisive. It's all right. Oh but anyway, the chain letter, we get them through the mail. Now, we get them through two, we get them through every new piece of technology email. I'm sure they have TikTok chain letters or whatever. Scary ones. Did you ever get those scary ones? Oh? Yeah, I'll talk a little bit about that in a second. But like I mean, during the pandemic, there was chain recipe emails that people would get and like the vague threat at the end of like everyone needs a little inspiration, right, You wouldn't want to run out of ideas, would you? So you know your aunt and your uncle are sending you these massive email chains because just in case, just in case you need a little a cookie recipe or a baked chicken or whatever. I get those good luck ones from just a very particular type of friend and both of them are like just a very particular I don't know how to describe them. It's just like you know that they're going to share that turtle, the picture of a turtle for good luck, and they're just like dming me on Facebook or whatever. Better here you go, you have to share this turtle for good luck or a picture of money. I don't know if you ever see I don't know if like anyone else, No, but that's hilarious. I mean it makes sense. I mean that's like pseudo New Age. You're in that zone of like magical thinking where it's like, oh, if I share this picture of money, I'm going to manifest money because I'm looking at this picture of money, so it's hey, it might work, it might work, it might work. I mean, I'm not against it, but we've all gotten them. Some promised luck, some promise money, and obviously some are ominous and vague and you will die if you don't pass this on, et cetera. E I used to believe in Michelle like I want to laugh, but I'm like guilty of like being in early high school and just being like like, well, because it's always like what if there's that one? What if that one is true? Also like the Ring. I mean think about the ring like that came out and it's like, oh yeah, you'll die in seven days. And that's like just the traditional straight up chain letter structure right there, because I used to get that and I remember thinking, like the one that includes an attachment. I don't know you've forgotten those, but like an email that has like an image of oh yeah, I'm going to talk about I'm going to talk about I think maybe one of the famous, more famous ones, But first I'm going to talk about the history of the chain letter, because I actually thought this was really interesting because it's based in old traditional folk magic, and it came to America through German immigrants, and it kind of like ended up being centered in the Pennsylvania Dutch area, like Philadelphia in that zone. But it used to be called Himsel Brief Himsel himsel brof h I M M E L S b R I E F Yeah, which translates to heaven letters. It's all nice, but really it sounds like all like evil. You know, that's very German. I mean, that's very letters from heaven. Letters from heaven. It's just a sweet letter from heaven. Oh and I'm getting a lot of this info from this complete book of North American Folklore, A Landscape of Magic, Mystery and Tradition by Corey Thomas Hutchinson. So just fyi, this is from that book. It's a pretty good book. I actually recommend it. It's like an encyclopedia type book of just stuff. But anyway, chain letter is fascinating. But anyway, so they were letters literally thought to have been dropped from heaven or people called them that, and they had elaborate calligraphy and promises whoever possessed the letter would be safe from harm, and maybe they were promised good luck and good fortune if they shared the letter, which back then you had to write the rewrite the letter. Yeah, because this is like back in the day. So you wouldn't just send the same letter to someone else. No, you'd write it would be the same letter, but you'd rewrite it. You'd rewrite it, you'd make your own version your like, your own handwritten version of it. So yeah, they promise good luck and then obviously vague cruises if you failed to share the letter. And then I have an example that I was going to read from this book actually of a letter from seventeen fourteen, and wow, it's one of the best known examples of a Croninsberg letter from seventeen fourteen, and it reads, I command the fire, by the power of God, that thou, whilst alive, thy flames as true as Mary remaineth, so chaste and so pure, for the cease thy rage, Oh terrible fire, This I count the oh fire, ransom sake. In the name of the Holy Trinity. I command thee fire, that with thy violence heat a lie for the blood which he shed for our sins and his death. All this I accept as ransom for thy sake, in the name of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost Jesus Nazareth, King of the Jews, help us out of these dangers of fire, protect this land and its borders from all epidemics and pestilence. Whoever keeps this letter in their house will not suffer from conflare, conflagations, constipation. No. Well, maybe if any pregnant woman carries this letter on her person, no sorcery, apparition or witchcraft can harm her. Also, everyone who keeps this letter at their home or carries the same on his person will be secure from dire epidemics and pestilence. So that is an original insurance. Cart is the first State farmad from seventeen to fourteen. The writer is a founder of State Farm. So chain letters have been around since, like as far back as ancient Roman times. There's like a thing in the Egyptian Book of the Dead that reads, if you copy this image, it'll bring you good luck and carry it on you. It's a thing it's gone on for a long time. Wow. Yeah, So, and you know, with the postal service becoming like standard, obviously there was a whole new market. But it's interesting that as yea, as like technologies evolve, the chain letters take on new elements. Like one of the more creepy chain letters is called smile Dog, which goes into like what you were talking about earlier, and it's from like early internet time, like around I were not early Internet, but like early two thousands. So one of the most famous creepy chain letters a smile dog or smile dot jpeg. And do you remember this? Why does that sound familiar? I'm sure as I describe it you might like it might like click in. So this chain letter revolves around a disturbing, alleged cursed image of a dog with a terrifying smile. Do you remember that? I mean, it's weird, it's weird. I actually yeah you should, It's it's not I don't think it's as scary as maybe the images now would be. So and as the story goes, according to the chain letter, the a mysterious image called smile dot jpeg or smile Dog circulated online in the early two thousands. Supposedly, anyone who viewed the image would be cursed with nightmares, mental anguish, and even insanity. The chain letter claims that the image was so unsettling that people had even taken their own lives after seeing it. I remember this, I really I remember this. Yeah, it's weird how these things just get into our heads like that because they are like like urban legends. Like people like make these deep urban legends. It's a way to create focal I think is chain letters. There was one about a cat. There was a cab version. I just didn't try to remember the name of it. But yeah, ah, geez, okay, yeah, yeah, it's very weird. The chain letter claims that the image is so unsettling that some people even took their lives after seeing it. The chain letter encourages recipients to share the image with others, claiming the only way to break the curse is to spread it to as many people as possible, like the ring. This idea of spreading the image to others to avoid the curse gave rise to the term creepy pasta referring to internet horror stories and urban legends that are shared online. In reality, the smile Dot jpeg chain letter is a work of fiction. I mean, it's a talk with a smile. Robbie smiles at me all the time, and he has yet to kill me yet. I say yet, It's just a matter of time. The image itself, is often accompanied by a disturbing caption or backstory, and was created as part of an Internet horror meme to scare and unsettled people. I think, kind of like Slenderman. There is no evidence to support the claims of a cursed image causing harm to those who view it. Nevertheless, the Smile Dog chain letter became widely known and was shared across various platforms, contributing to the infamous status as one of the creepiest chain letters on the Internet. It's creepy, but it just looks like a dog that has like beef in its mouth. I mean it looks like one of those old phones, like you know, those old sprint phones that could take pictures. That's actually what the image looks like. Yeah, but that's a creepy looking dog, I mean it is. But also it's so funny because that seems so tame now compared to like what the Internet is. It's like, oh, what I have now here is we're gonna make our own chain letter because I basically turned it into a mad lib game. So basically it's like subject adjective chain letter. Pass it on. So we'll just go through and I'll just ask for adjectives, nouns, and verbs, and then I'll just read the thing aloud at the end. Man, it's an English lesson. I knew this was important. Kids. Knowing the difference between an adjective and now and a verb was important. Yeah, don't don't make me explain it because I don't know. That's why I'm asking you. Okay. Adjective give me. An adjective is an adjective action words. Oh fuck. Adjective is a description, is a descriptive like it could be like read right, is that a thing if I'm described? Or fast? I don't know. I don't know. Okay, done, We're done, okay, And then noun nouns for everything, like a house. We're gonna have to do so so many of these. Yeah, are like a name okay, no, like a name, A name would be probably appropriate here, like a proper down. Then, hey, I do know this stuff? Then, yeah, you do know this stuff? That's weird. Can I make up a name or what? Oh? Can I just say like a woman? And then this is dear now, so dear okay, Sally, Sally? Okay, Okay, I hope this adjective. This is so sad to everyone listening right now? One how like, okay, give me another adjective scary, scary, another adjective good or bad? I mean, this is not your blank chain letter scrawny. Two hours late. Non as in just a name, like a proper now like a name, no, like a just a regular bringing blank, blank, and blank together. Noun nouns for everything is artwork? Artwork? Sure, okay, what about photograph instead? Well we need three. We could do art monster okay, monster foot there you go. Three hours late? Seven? Give me another noun three, can't give me another noun? Grave? Hell? Yeah. I mean I remember doing Mad Lives and we'd just be like, but, you know, but fart, Like it got to a point where it's like not fun anymore because you're just doing like but fart boom, and it's just always just funny because it's farts, Like, yeah, it's farts, but let's just put in farts. Four hours late another noun, another noun. Did we say house? Yeah? Huh? Tooth? Oh yeah, tooth. I'm like kind of reading this and I'm a little like, will this make it he sense that you were like, no, I'm writing it out. I'm like filling in the nouns and the things right now five hours late noun sausage sausage, and then another noun We're almost there, a thing like coffee okay, coffee, adjective enlarged, large, And then three nouns shoe, bar, doll okay. And then I an adjective and a noun, and then we're done. Read a noun old woman, okay, old woman. And then I wrote, sincerely Michelle and Edwin of scary mystery surprise. So here and here is our chat GPT Edwin and Hans Michelle in Hans chain letter that we can now put out on the internet if we need this. So here we go, subject fast chain letter. Pass it on, dear Sally. I hope this massive letter finds you in fancy health and scary spirit. This is not your scrawny chain letter. It's a itchy luck chain that has been walking the world for ages, bringing photograph monsters and foot to those who follow its instruction. Now it's your turn to be a part of this bizarre and g walking the earth turn out walking the world for ages. Here's how it stalks. Within three days of receiving this letter, you must make seven copies of it. Remember to remove my tree from the top and add yours to the grave. Then take the first copy and send it to a fart who could use some extra tube in their lives. The second coffee should go to a microphone, in the third to a butt or night. After you've done this, just speak and see what poops. I don't know, so eat in the sausage of coffee and enlarged luck. Take the shoe of bar and send out those those dolls. Wishing you all the red and much old woman. Sincerely, Michelle and had went up scary mystery surprise. We're gonna Ignora so hard, but you can get so many poops. Just speak and see what poops sounds right to me? Oh man? Anyway, that's all I got for chain letters. Let us know if you ever receive our chain letter in your email. Yeah, it's gonna spread. It's gonna spread like wild fast, wildfire tooth but tree brave, who's the ending again? Wishing you all the red and much old women, all the red, You guys, wishing you all the red. Yeah, we're wishing you all the red. Be sure to rate and subcribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure all the old women in your life, leave reviews, eat in the sausage of coffee, and the enlarged luck. It all sounds like large luck everyone, enlarged luck everyone. What are we gonna talk about next weekend with I don't know if it'll be a surprise,